Name

I.
Your whole identity
I can write it
Then erase it
Fearing its existence
To knowing eyes

Why can't it stay?
I'm embarrassed
Acknowledging
You're in my thoughts
Write it over and over
Just to erase
Because it brings you there

It reveals a drawer
Files of memories
Yet no physical presence

It's just some letters
Organized
Attractive ways
Forming clumps
Characters
With characteristics
Your very being
Locked inside

Don't let them see
I've written a page
Full of your name.

II.
A list
Unorganized alphabet
Figure
Nothing
Numbers without explanation
Who could live in that label
Graphite squiggles
Mean what to me

Without it, you're _______
Without you, it's _______

So many lives
Live in a list of names
Names
Names
Each is a link
To a whole separate web page

But here
Unknown
Just names
Nothing.

III.
When you're not here
When I'm alone
I'll write it
and write it
and write it
and write it
and write it
Like grabbing air
While in a dream
For something so real
Just not there
To put you
Write in front of me
When you're not.

Home

Not one place
One town
One street
One house
One country
One family

Mine is somewhere distant
Where I was born
Where I was raised
Where I grew up
Where I live now
Where I will go

It is a memory or even a dream
Tropical island
Mountainous fortress
Trees with ocean breeze
Winter igloo

I can't point to a spot on a map
Nor to the suitcase I pull around
Nor my photo album

So where do I go when I want to go home?
With the people I love
Who love me the most
A place I can't describe
It's just where I am loved
Where I can go for peace
And for comfort
For a good time
Where I feel understood

My home is this world
The sky all above
And a heart deep inside.

Hong Kong

Provo

South Jordan

Springville

Sandy

Medfield

Leaside

Different

I am different
Let's just say
I
handle
see
feel
hear
speak
think
taste
experience
things in different ways

I've got this name to prove likewise
That I am much different from you guys
And this name has followed
Generations from before
of similar, peculiar people
with
enthusiasm
quirks
desire
weaknesses
dedication
flaws
motivation
challenges
processes
like me.

Yet my difference separates me still, with the present
I try to connect with the past
But I am still alone, it seems sometimes
As I read back and relate
That this line of people
kind of like me
only come one at a time.

So here I am, alone
Here I am, I'm different
That's all there is to understand.
(but we can still be friends...
because you're different,too)

Joseph Smith

Great Great Great Great Grandfather John Rowe Moyle

The Future Ahead

I wonder I wonder
what will come next
what waits in the next chapter
around the next bend
it could be a RAPTOR!
or a great friend
I wonder I wonder
what will come next

to be from somewhere
with immovable roots
I wonder with what
could I travel with solid stone boots
or to sail around oceans
and fly in great planes
to travel all over
scattering my name

who could I meet
or how will things be
will I leave a trail
or will it disappear
right behind me?
will anyone follow
or lead the way
will I be on my own
til the end of the day?

or will my arms be full
with guidance at my side
can I keep going
without wanting to hide?

I wonder I wonder
what will come next
around that curve, that bend, that fence
will there be only hellos
or sweet sad good byes
can I make it on my own?

where will these maps take me
where will the compass point
I need that sweet feeling
the make me weak in the joint
make me crack
and even fall
to my knees and pleas

what will they say?
what dangers lay ahead?
I need that soft whisper
planted deep in my head

and I'll write down my stories
my sorrows
my glories
and picture
my memories
into albums for you
for you to remember
me back when
I said

I wonder I wonder
what will come next.