let's build our mirrors and face each other

your life is a thread intertwined,
interconnected with mine

our friends, the passing people
the problems, the blessings
spinning, weaving
in and out
over, under
back and forth
picking up, dropping, cutting, adding

with this one hand
I'll grab your other
You grab theirs and off we go
A tapestry to make

We'll find loose ends and tie them up
Snip the splits
and trim the edges
as this tapestry is growing

Like ants toward the bread crumb
Our lives are amassing
coloring the wall
until the nails that hang us can no longer be seen
through the master weaver
coordinating the colors
with each unique square
on that paint-by-numbers map

I'll stand here
If you'll stand there
Here's my end,
Let's make this beginning

Take each
tiny
delicate
silver
celestial
glass
piece
(I'll grab the last one out from your poor eye)
and meld your mirror together there
as I plant my own here

And as standing tapestries
Look.

Si Sabes, Si Supiste ... Se Que Supe (Heads Up)

[probably the weirdest creative juice spill you'll get from me]

Take it!
One and two and thee and four
Five where you running off to?
Connect it!
Make the highest five.
Yeah, yeah
Supe que sabes
Se que supiste
Pero si sabes
Si supiste
EXPLOOM!

Yeah, yeah
If you know
If you knew
You'd know
no wouldn't you?

See the picture
Finger paints splatter the wall
wall
wall
Yeah, Yeah
Can't you see the babe in the cradle
the child on the swing
me dancing in the field
and yeah, yeah
nunco nunco
si, nunco
You'll never know.

But
one two three
if you saw me
dive off the cliff
right into that jello called life
Bouncing
Sinking
Slipping
MMMMMM delicious
Nom nom nom.
You would understand
Now wouldn't you?

Pero, no me entiendes.
Que triste
Monsieur rectangle.

just get to the point.

Yeah, yeah
This window would change
Deform
Malfunction
Soy
that window
would change
now wouldn't it?
Si sabes
Si Supiste
Se que supiste
Y no puedes saber mas
no mas.

Yoj

Take me in
Submerse me
Collect the glittering specks
Flaming, bursting masses
Occupying the beautiful space
That is yet to be filled.
Collect them.
Each and every one.

Now...
As a rock I was
Change me
Crush me
Into rapids flowing down the creek
Into waterfalls plummeting
Singing in agony
Singing in praise
As the pool so carefully stirs
Churns particles of life
Into me.
Open me.
Open my soul,
My heart,
My mind.

With each blossoming galaxy
Whisper
Where the words lie extinct
Whisper
And with your glory
Each blessing place
Like soft petals pressed into a rose
To grow within this spacious cavity.

Fill it.
Constellations
Fiery sunrises
Moon reflections
Prairie oceans
Towering majesties
Steadfast trees
Glimmering seas
All illuminated by your glory
Fill it.
Fill me.

In one uncharted valley
You fill with love, light, and life
Indescribable, pure joy
The symphony for my being
I can't imagine abandoning.

Fill me
Once more
Please.

Demons on the Brow

Lengthy nights come on after the other
like static in the airwaves
not one change in the wind
as the wind outside my room stirs
and spins
and twists
with the storm
inside my mind.
Neither can be separated.
Not even the room or my skull
create a boundary thick enough.
The demons tied me up
and slowly started skinning
conjuring thoughts that never existed
from my sweet memories they find
along with the stressful nightmares.

It's at night when that looming darkness
creeps and pounces upon my soul
after checking that the coast is clear
that no one is there to prevent me from
screaming
pulling my hair
crying
pleading
killing my poor innocence.
no one there to hold me
until my lips can barely utter one silent prayer.

They crouch around me
with all my dead birds hanging by their tail feathers.
they drop each one
plopping them onto the electrical wire.
They bring back the accepted dead
the things that never really mattered
due to my naive age back then
bring back my already-sloved rubicks cube
in a most nasty mess
and like the wire
each little bird hangs - unable to fly
drooping my brow
pressing my eyes to tears
releasing the corners of my lips
into a frowning parachute
searching for a place to land
somewhere
where death of my mind
is not inevitable.

The demons
The demons
trying to dig a hole to my head
and drain my brain.
They have no purpose
other than to drag my down
destroy me.

I just want to sleep
rest in comfort of safety.
I don't want to raise a war
don't want to kindle the fight.

I just want the sun to rise.

slick as oil
oily as the world.

the thoughts can drown me
drown me in the very oil
creating those evil spirits
slipping into my ears
and I can't close my eyes
I only find more darkness
so they stay glued to position
looking for the faintest light
to save my sleep.

and by sometime my body surrenders
I find myself waking up
feeling fine, but refusing the night.

Don't force the poison down my throat
that makes me spit out disgusting lies
that scare me of my friends
and make me hate misery more.

It's all in the demons
No matter how the days go
They'll still hate me
and they find their way in
when I can't sleep at night.

I want to see your hand.

They know what they know
They know what I know
And I got so close they'll do anything
To strip me of my worth.

Oh Father, hear me now.
'Tis eventide.

Oh Canada

OH CANADA
I knew you before
But you weren't much in my mind
A place for vacation
where time would stop
and I'd lay on the beach of PEI
A place for silly accents
But that was only one side
No Canada.... before
you weren't much to me.

Moving
Finding out
You ruined my life
You took my best friends
my family
Threw them behind
Broke my home
Wiped my past
Put me on my own...
like college two years early.

High school became nothing
Give up, give up
it won't matter
you're moving.

So excited for the movement
for something new
Took way too much for granted
much more than I knew
I just smiled
I'm leaving! Hoorah!
Watching them all cry
feeling terrible inside
I became "the traitor"
until I reached the Loyalist soil
and once again became the enemy.

I thought it as a pit stop
a stop
a drop
a roll
no point
to anything
anything at all
two years was nothing
I just refused to care
I belonged somewhere else
but had a purpose to serve.

OH CANADA
you took everything from me
everything
everything
besides necessities....
you took everything
that made my identity.
everything and made it worse.
I had nothing.
I didn't want anything either.
"Why make friends when you'll only leave them?"
And it's true
I'm only leaving you
Going back to the old ones.

But Canada....
as much as you know me.
you've given me more,
additions to myself
renovations to show the past
what I've become
become something more
with a future that at first did not exist.

Oh Canada
your blessing
to know what matters most
to fortify my testimony
of my being
who I am.

Dear America,
I've missed you.
That psycho. sense of being free
My flag, my country, my sweet love
Where I'm loyal through as blue is true
Where I can see the stars
And remember those red stripes.
Where my roots lie.

Oh Canada
you improved
in my mind
a different life
where I belong no where
My home is the world
Everyone is a friend

Oh Canada
sometimes I really hate you
but I've come to learn to love you
and thank you
and thank you
Thank You.

Like a Pit Stop
short
yet necessary
to prepare me
for the future.

So how is Canada?
It's okay,
but so is the USA. ;]
(I'm all in for Hong Kong! hahaha jk)

Name

I.
Your whole identity
I can write it
Then erase it
Fearing its existence
To knowing eyes

Why can't it stay?
I'm embarrassed
Acknowledging
You're in my thoughts
Write it over and over
Just to erase
Because it brings you there

It reveals a drawer
Files of memories
Yet no physical presence

It's just some letters
Organized
Attractive ways
Forming clumps
Characters
With characteristics
Your very being
Locked inside

Don't let them see
I've written a page
Full of your name.

II.
A list
Unorganized alphabet
Figure
Nothing
Numbers without explanation
Who could live in that label
Graphite squiggles
Mean what to me

Without it, you're _______
Without you, it's _______

So many lives
Live in a list of names
Names
Names
Each is a link
To a whole separate web page

But here
Unknown
Just names
Nothing.

III.
When you're not here
When I'm alone
I'll write it
and write it
and write it
and write it
and write it
Like grabbing air
While in a dream
For something so real
Just not there
To put you
Write in front of me
When you're not.

Home

Not one place
One town
One street
One house
One country
One family

Mine is somewhere distant
Where I was born
Where I was raised
Where I grew up
Where I live now
Where I will go

It is a memory or even a dream
Tropical island
Mountainous fortress
Trees with ocean breeze
Winter igloo

I can't point to a spot on a map
Nor to the suitcase I pull around
Nor my photo album

So where do I go when I want to go home?
With the people I love
Who love me the most
A place I can't describe
It's just where I am loved
Where I can go for peace
And for comfort
For a good time
Where I feel understood

My home is this world
The sky all above
And a heart deep inside.

Hong Kong

Provo

South Jordan

Springville

Sandy

Medfield

Leaside

Different

I am different
Let's just say
I
handle
see
feel
hear
speak
think
taste
experience
things in different ways

I've got this name to prove likewise
That I am much different from you guys
And this name has followed
Generations from before
of similar, peculiar people
with
enthusiasm
quirks
desire
weaknesses
dedication
flaws
motivation
challenges
processes
like me.

Yet my difference separates me still, with the present
I try to connect with the past
But I am still alone, it seems sometimes
As I read back and relate
That this line of people
kind of like me
only come one at a time.

So here I am, alone
Here I am, I'm different
That's all there is to understand.
(but we can still be friends...
because you're different,too)

Joseph Smith

Great Great Great Great Grandfather John Rowe Moyle

The Future Ahead

I wonder I wonder
what will come next
what waits in the next chapter
around the next bend
it could be a RAPTOR!
or a great friend
I wonder I wonder
what will come next

to be from somewhere
with immovable roots
I wonder with what
could I travel with solid stone boots
or to sail around oceans
and fly in great planes
to travel all over
scattering my name

who could I meet
or how will things be
will I leave a trail
or will it disappear
right behind me?
will anyone follow
or lead the way
will I be on my own
til the end of the day?

or will my arms be full
with guidance at my side
can I keep going
without wanting to hide?

I wonder I wonder
what will come next
around that curve, that bend, that fence
will there be only hellos
or sweet sad good byes
can I make it on my own?

where will these maps take me
where will the compass point
I need that sweet feeling
the make me weak in the joint
make me crack
and even fall
to my knees and pleas

what will they say?
what dangers lay ahead?
I need that soft whisper
planted deep in my head

and I'll write down my stories
my sorrows
my glories
and picture
my memories
into albums for you
for you to remember
me back when
I said

I wonder I wonder
what will come next.

T's and Q's for You

The things we know
The seeds we sow
In hope that spring comes soon

I stand high as I can
I know who I am
But times on my own
Get hard all alone
I need you here to be
That growing strength in me
For I am a rock
Rolling up
On His mountain

The things that we know
Things that don’t matter
I see with new eyes
A sun is blossoming inside

And all I desire
Is to rise
Rise
Rise
To meet that morning.

Starting Three Times

starting
starting
starting
at the ground
three times
wait, no four
four black coals separated on the ground
growing
growing
growing
up from their points
like stumps
to logs
to trees
with brown leaves
connecting them together
cascading down the legs
one here, one there
OH one's flying in the air
and up and up and UP it goes
that trunk to a place where no one knows
I thought I'd seen it stop
but my eyes could reach no further
so I clambered into my private plane
check the engine, on, let's go
starting
starting
starting
up and up and up
up to the top of the atmosphere where this trunk stopped
looking back at me
two sparkling ebony eyes
blinking
saying hello so kindly
"I am a giraffe"
the end

Dear Friend,

My body and soul
Unlike the waves or the wind
that cease to stay here with me.
I want to feel what you feel
see what you see
be what you are
And likewise you to me.

I want there to be no questions
no doubt
no worry or assumptions
"judge not"

Be the stamina in me
to keep me going
motivated
Be the logic
to check and balance me
The exemplar
to keep my integrity
my faith.

goodbye to SMJ

so this is goodbye
like a message in a bottle
departing 'cross the ocean
waving "so long"

you're off to distant places
where I may never see you again
but maybe years from now
you'll wash up on my shore
those memories to reread

for you are just some grains of sand
out of many people
sitting on this beach

so off you go
in your glass bottle
tainted with sunlight
from a world I can't enter
out of my eye
behind my earth
like our faded star
you go
you go
farewell
and goodbye.

Sundance in the Rain

dump, dull, monochromatic
depressed
sprinkle turns to drizzle
rain into deluge
locking your limbs to the ground
paralyzing pressure keeps you down
like trying to escape
from a form fitting elastic bag
efforts to push or break free
only wasted time and energy
what goes out, only comes back
trapped in the downpour
old sorrows
recurring
so much so you can't differentiate
your tears and the rain drops
the blues and blacks of the scene
are dying your skin
until you blend in

in frustration, and angry
force your hand up
then with a flash of light it's down again
this discovery
try again
flash of light, then down once more
you've been covering your light
so self-consumed
in your own dying womb
try again and again and again
up and down, smacking violently with elasticity
"Let me keep the light!"
shatters your concrete scowl
splurging other colors out
dripping that complexion
there's a puddle of red and orange
accumulating below your crouching gargoyle silhouette

smidgen sense of relief
change in the tides
those sound waves giving strength
forming an umbrella to shelter from the rain
rising to all fours
mirrors in the puddles
you're so unphased, staring back
until the mixing colors paint a memory
that carves a grin
SPLASH!
yellow and green
refresh, and chain reaction
pink and purple
your smiles and laughs
unplug the light hole
sunlight draining in
you realize your efforts to escape
successfully mastered
and with arms out, and standing
flying colors
like feathers in your headdress
sundance
sundance
sundance the rain away.

Goes a little something like this...

your smell is still lingering on my skin
creeping through my memory in-
side of me, to the side you stand
right next to me, kissing my hand-
in hand, my hand, a token of love
love of a best friend
love of a sun
love to a mother's lover's
daughter's child
father's son
sunshine
boy do you shine
like summer's noonday

the way my hand on you is fitting-
into this dress is so comforting
knowing you're mine, my best friend-
to the end you, my partner in love
love of a best friend
love of a sun
love to a mother's lover's
daughter's child
father's son
sunshine
boy do you shine
like the flash in the photo booth

Oh Rebekah

Oh Rebekah
the moments that you catch
attach
they snatch
and cling
to the mind inside this head
focus, snap, and shoot
photo on your lap
like you could almost feel it with your hands
but with your eyes instead

Oh Rebekah
the views that display
in my mind will play
like people on a carousel
going round and round
up and down
circulating
like blood in my body

You snap
they latch
your photos sing.

The Misery Poem

Dear "friend,"
I hope you like guilt trips,
this is a one-way ticket.
Keep you hands and feet
inside the vehicle,
you're not getting out.
You think that I could send you here
but that defeats my purpose.
Misery I send to you
and you and you and you
poo you.
Yes, I'm a miserable lump
just rotting over here
letting my putrid stench drift
in the directions of those
who never visit me.
my misery wants company.

This...this...

A symphony of whispers
in my ears
That press against my cheeks
soft as snow
Lightly falling kisses
tangled in my 'lashes
sweet little reminders
like pink post-its on my face
as you play
guitar
on my fingers
strumming each beat
in time with my heart
hiding messages
so subliminal
in your words
in my bag

you've got a whole other world
sitting in your eyes
thanks for letting me in.

above and conquered

once, I stood so tall
like big old redwoods
I was so close to the sky
I was, I could feel it in my hair
but down below there was a knocking
knocking knocking
then a chop chopping
peeking below I saw you
I thought you were a friend
but I remembered you
when you carved your sweetheart's name
now you came back
with a larger tool this time
trying to get my heart
I was oh so thick
all-knowing, that was me
I knew no way you'd get to me
'cause I was the tallest tree
I kept looking back down to you
every once and awhile
the closer you kept getting
the angrier I got
that one last look i took
bent over way too far and you took
one
last
chop
chop, crack, fell
down to my knees crying
he told me I was a flower
underneath my thick bark
so I'm still here trying to thicken up again
I've fallen to my enemy's knees
he has finally conquered over me.
never the end

strip down

when the light is black
I'm lying in the darkness
with eyes closed to see what I feel.

monotonous breathing
inflation, deflation; expansion
thinking as deep as the diaphragm goes
letting loose what matters least
the stress that sinks me.
I'm a balloon binging on air
then, letting the demons escape
I am able to float away
higher
rising elevation
reaching greater being.

I'm lying here with the door shut
tracing the systems in my bod'
as an artist building my structure
rebuilding my being, what I feel.
when taken apart into pieces
laid, organized carefully
the foundation I lie on is all that's left.
it's while I'm here
watching words bounce, deflect off walls
like slo-mo ping-pong, but of the brain
my hands extend, reach to catch them
sewing sentences together.

my closed eyelids detect an outline
your presence opening my eyes
while I just sense the shadowed figure
calmly, yet cautiously, stepping closer.
and with this stripped state I feel
each strand of hair stroked,
brushed aside from my face.
a loss of focus, immediate peace.
warmth of your head nuzzling mine
gives a connection, like telepathy
as your hands tell, "I care for you."

a pause from myself...
that could last for hours,
as long as I could write,
describe, express to my ability
how much "sweetheart" suits you.

when it comes to memoirs

she was born straight-faced
a stare solid as a white wall.
pale cream, smooth silk
no humanly crease would populate
or evidence of wrinkles would exist.
the dark crevices carved in her eyes,
endless black vacuums swallowing light,
swallowing all those who go by.
caramel frames of these holes-
sweet, luring, strands of muscle
contracting, snapping photos; cameras.
her lips, however, remain locked;
secrets recorded, secrets untold.
inside that mind she lines them up.
like examinees they cautiously roll in
claiming a space along a wall
of her vacant, now occupied, room
labeled: thoughts, emotions, people: memoirs.
the room for anything, for everything
admitted through her ears and eyes.
she clacks her shoes on the hard floor,
sets her chair, sits, and stares, peering
with that straight-faced mask
judging each moment the examinees offer.
one by one, like cleaning a closet,
some must go while significants stay.
then there's you, wriggling, near the end,
puffs of smoke replacing each before you.
anxiety knocking, banging, barricading,
spazzing heart and glazing cold sweats,
until the vacuum comes to you, a bit of dust
cemented in a fetal position
ready for the "expected"
when what happens is unexpected.
a sliver of the sunrise evolves
from a crack in her straight solid wall.
she dies with a smile because of you.
and sets like a star
hiding behind earth's horizon.

love notes

from the point the bud peeked out into life
in spring when feelings burst aflame as blossoms
growing lively, playing tag on summer nights
resting in our heads, being shared between hands
as maturity, like a cancer, consumed the leaves.

crisp mornings, rising from wrinkling sheets
after resuming reality from sweetest dreams
I laminate my skin upon the window, fogging vision,
and catch a glimpse of a sun-glittering collage on my lawn
the hues of honest emotions bleeding when it rains.

like a tree; cherry-blossom, bonsai, oak
someone is falling for me, sending love notes
multiplying arithmetically each passing breeze
replacing memories of suffocation, drowning,
of nothing more than isolation to cling to.

I see you've scattered them about
to ensure my chance of seeing them 100%.
plastering walls, carpeting sidewalks
leeches on my shoes and clothes and hair
informing the universe that I, indeed, am stuck.

they can see the colors in my cheeks
complement those of your love notes.
ripening fruit beneath the gold-gilded orb
bloated with flavor; sweet, divine
requiring one sincere kiss for experience.

oh carino, sweetheart, as you fall
I am prepared with my doll-sized hands
to rake these love notes into a pile
and with steps carefully planted,
I dive!

The Quiet Place

where the gold-gilded forest walls
speak not of paradise, but serenity
to dip my toes into the stream of life
carrying with it the diamonds of this world
that you can only glimpse in another's eyes

this place, with it's canopies uncurling
draping all across the soft steps I take
to a destination where I'll meditate
where my sun-painted skin ripens
maturing in magnificent hues

and as the whistling breeze
waltzes in the star-studded sky
my structure will shatter so softly
begin rowing dreams down the river
past here where the world is taboo
past here
here
the quiet place.

(Photo Credit of Rebekah Gibson)

birds

the birds were right,
as they've always been.
head south is inevitable.
but I thought it was west,
the birds knew best.

the birds were right
that as the weather warms
I would fly home
back to the cozy nest
we built for our love to rest.

the birds were right
for now I must go
you make me a free bird
but no worry, my dear
I will return to you here.

what glass case? Part I and II

Part I:
this is our place
preserved by mother nature
a museum of natural history
free for all.

the love you dream of.

Part II:
I would try to paint the picture
just to show you how I feel,
but besides the fact it's real
the reality is it's indescribable.

These dreams

knocking at the door
pressing into my mind
"Hey, friend, remember me?"
he says in a quiet whisper
tugging on the right heart strings
what did his soul do to me?
send the message a week in advance
40 days too late.

A friend, a friend?
Is that what I was?
What I am? will be?
Was I worth carrying your name?
the little we spoke...meant nothing
that silence, the boy
he did not forget me.
Who was I to be considered a friend?
a keeper of hope, of faith.

the realization's finally come
far too quickly, a different way.
I had wanted just once
one last word, reply, anything
I wanted to let you know I cared
in a way that was too hesitant
I suppose.
I did. more than I thought
the damp cloth ceases to be wrung.
I'm trying now, though, in little ways
to keep a hold of you.

then some night your family visits
searching, asking me where you are
they come again, but I'm searching for them
trying to get the brother to smile
chisel a man from the stone.
again, tonight, though finally different
your memory drips all over
flowing through this dream
painting your canvas.

the dream to shake me up
just to wake me up again
the smile in the memory that you still live
live on the same dirt path
that your enlightening presence is still at home
but your sweet memory cracked in my mirror
remembering you walk a different road
engraved with your glory
and the love you taught us to share.
your visit, so pleasant,
though I struggle to catch your words,
brought the greatest sunrise
that I know will orbit me, come again.

so be it
these dreams
please never cease to visit me
on and on until we meet again,
dear friend.

winter (this won my school poetry contest)

her wind-torn hair
lashes her face
like silver blades
drawing spider webs
across her frost-bitten eyes.

her chill breathing
screaming against your window
the ironic lullaby
putting life to sleep
freezing time like buried acorns, memories.

with bare naked, mechanical claws
she reaches, closing the sky
pulling the clouds down upon us
erasing the colors from the canvas.

Pondering

Looking into what you present
Being swallowed by your stories
the seas that fill your mind
Creating mysteries I try to catch.

Your glow bring the sun's warmth
Dancing above the mountains in your eyes
The ones my waves crash against
Growing trees with our names carved in
Blinking, twinkling, giving divine light
To the thriving gardens blossoming inside.

And when the wind whispers
Making my name sound sweet
It crawls through my ear
Down my throat, an amazing taste
Sneaking into my lungs, the air I breath
And pumped through my heart, the blood I need.

Amazing fish

how could it be you've never tasted
this flavor before your age this day?
of all the sweet smells
what took so long to lure you in?

I went deep-sea fishing
and found the most unique
unknown species,
possibly the only one.

I'm not much of a seafood lover,
not like I once had been,
but you're my exception.

you bring a safe reminder
that this is what I need.

The things I'm learning from what you teach
I think I don't understand
but that's plowed over by this amazing joy
that relieves a stress that had captured me.

A risk, you say, you're taking
latching onto my hook
a risk you're willingly making
and I'm just the lucky one.

How did you decide without a list to check?
You make me question things again
and then
it doesn't matter.
I am happy
and it's alright... all on it's own
my only effort was to throw the line.

I've caught the best catch,
a fish that surprisingly knows all the math.

kings + monsters + cycles daily

As the king begins to doze,
laying down his golden crown
down upon fresh green velvet,
outside his quiet dreamland
a bustling does occur.
The monster's headdress rises,
spokes growing from the horizon.
Dusk is creeping along the streets
as the monster's eyes
click, click, click...turn on
blinking spontaneously
while it's arms stretch
across the fields with germs
separating this way and that
infecting the air.
They make same abrupt noise
chasing sleep out of bedrooms
until the watch guard sounds alarm
and by the time
the knight turns the flashlight on,
they're gone.

rocket science

you and your equations
you mark upon the board.
it's like you take the universe
and try to arrange the stars,
as if it's all a blackboard
cluttered with your symbols.
it is far too incredibly complex
to find the scientist perplexed.
you thumb through all your files
just to find one explanation
to describe those feelings
in a complicated equation.
but take you back in time
before the poet's rhyme
in the beginning there was
one plus one
which equaled less than three.
and so through time this was
what swollen hearts proclaimed.
then the night I took your hand
dear rocket scientist, you said,
"something I finally understand"
and 1+1=<3

my favorite metaphor

the gardens of your face are in full bloom
and the smell so sweet it drowns me in a dream

if I could just keep a couple for myself
maybe one or two

I'd save them in a special place
so I'd always think of you.

you wear your smile in your eyes

watch you across the water
watch you where you stand
beyond that reservoir
where I can't reach your hand

darling, rains will come
waters will rise, growing deep
I see colors flash some
but you, your word, you keep

whatever did you fear?
the distance I could not hear?
I called to you with my quiet voice
so shy and afraid of my noise
It's not what you know
but on your face, it shows
I see you wear your smile in your eyes
release your colors from that disguise
let me hear your music from inside
growing in your heart
let me sing to your guitar.

I had my shadows creep
slowly up upon my life
hide me in dark deep
steal away my sunshine

watch you across the water
watch you where you stand
beyond that reservoir
where I can't reach your hand

whatever did you fear?
the distance I could not hear?
I called to you in my quiet voice
so shy and afraid of my noise
It's not what you know
but on your face, it shows
I see you wear your smile in your eyes
release your colors from that disguise
let me hear the music from inside
growing in your heart
let me sing to your guitar

watch you stand over there
watch you stand across the water
just hope that you can hear
watch you watch across the way
watch you dream each day

watch you across the water
watch you where you stand
beyond that reservoir
where i can't reach your hand

see the water rise
but now as it recedes
take this old canoe
made by solid reeds
come over to my side
play what I can't hear
you wear your smile in your eyes
oh, let me sing along, dear.

my nature

forward, retreat
forward, retreat
forward, retreat
inch by inch
foot by foot
forward, retreat
forward, retreat
forward, fall
into your arms
deep into you eyes
kiss, good night.

the poet's hand

birds flutter like leaves in the wind
and the trees, like rainbows, turn over in the chill breeze
their shadows swim across the cement while the sun grazes a half blue sky
the fall of the anarchist summers cycle again giving way to new reign and season
ironic, however, the palette that's chosen
warmth bursts a flame drenching the hillside
while cool skies little by little or sometimes in larger steps drop
temperatures that clothe us
then eventually, as time slides by, earth takes her bed sheet,
leaving trees to rake clouds.
now let my wash this hand

there will be another time

the peace I feel this moment,
the smile I can now so comfortably wear
is in watching the sunset
knowing it's not gone, only "over there."

there's a reassurance sweet
reminding me what I already knew
that as the sun is set to leave,
after resting, there'll be a different view.

the cycle of the sun
with symbolism bursting inside.
when my morning comes,
passed loved ones no longer hide.

to these certain things
knowing "All is well"
I give my gratitude.

(this feeling has no title)

I could waste hours
mourning amidst invisible flowers
soaking in silence
silence fogged with thoughts
my eyes could fix against the ceiling
open to all memories to play across the stage
maybe let my eyes swell
wash the blank stare off this face
or I could just stay here
involuntarily futile
for some reason
when I lay here alone
feeling nothing but space
is ironically so comforting
so soothing
either charging me up
or brittling my bones
increasing sensitivity
this state was left behind in my box of the past
but it was not ready to be forgotten
we need a reality check
sometimes too often.

walking home

each step
and its assigned number
pressing against this cement
taking note of all the feeling
overcoming the foot.
I walk home
a mile on my own
numb
spaced
thoughts collapsing on themselves.
The breaths I take
mean so much more
inflating these lungs
then deflating 'til gone.
gone
gone
empty.
The feeling is divine
I don't understand why it's mine
Why am I still here?
how is it I can still focus
on the details often taken for granted
I almost ache to touch a leaf
passing at my side
just to feel
to feel alive.
I have no desire
to fill this stomach
or rest my eyes
they actually ache to close.
Continue on, though
I know my body needs it.
Lost in my mind I almost feel
so disconnected
and just the light pain of walking
I want it
I want to feel
to taste
to hear
to speak
to smell
this walk
teaches me well
with the time I get to myself
on my own
to see
to stabilize understanding
to learn
to remember
to cry
and welcome any peace
a reminder, bitter sweet.

Then to walk with you
keeping gears in motion
remind me there's a life
to which I must resume.
and feel the warmth you give
that just calms my soul
make my feelings whole
the friendship that I need
provided at my side
to see the smile you give
and try it on myself
without needing to check a mirror.
to feel peace
in life not alone
an arm to prod me along
remind me who I am
replace my focus on something else.

the balance between
life and death
the necessity in
being alone and
being together
the importance of the roles
all events play

I realize walking home.

half an hour

RAHHHHHHH!!!!
screams the bell at the top of its lungs
burning so red it might just blow!
single line
try to stifle your panic
get outside where you best belong
away from the danger
the demolishing fire
burning down the buildings
as we find comfort among ourselves
we were all outside waiting
this very day
as those sirens polluted the sky
in our memories.
we were still waiting
for the signal
while the rest of the world
went back to world
we were outside standing
they forgot us here
for half an hour
just like they forgot the fire.
I remember. 9/11.

Swing with me

In the garden, a downpour of angel rays.
The aroma of perennials drowns your senses in delight.
Ivy-seized walls reject an outer world.
Canopies of trees protect us from what they see.
Your rosy cheeks will grow in bushes
along the wall where streams do trickle
like the stars that linger in our eyes
when we laugh upon smile without end.
We will stroll through the lush grass so vibrant and green
that grows like the truth between you and me.
Birds' wings flap beat to the hum in th air
of bees dancing to tunes so tangled in our hair.
Daffodils grow like a fire in the corner
inviting and delighting in their afternoon's tea.
From our live's tree so knotted with stories,
an empty swing dangles poised for our turn.
Climb into happiness' seat
as life cycles on with its ups and downs.
It couldn't be easier without your help pushing me through
to remind me, "Swing higher! I know that you can!"
Then off through the garden as night opens its eyes
the pond will shiver as we send our stones off.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven...
times upon the surface, times through the week.
This is where the cavities of our chests
are filled.

moving out

love is the depth of the azure ocean
with continuum of eb and flo
a ritual of the low and high tide.
some learn to tread the water young in age
while others fear the mystery far too long.
I have come to swim through shallow water
as my destination of the drowning chasm comes nigh.
there are pebbles in the sand to trip or slip upon
rafts upon the surface to save the distressed.
I sometimes stay close to shore in fear
but the sun beckons me above accomplished swimmers of the deep.
the light penetrates through the ebony under-ocean
and all is clear and seen at times
while others bring storm-congested skies.
in the end I'm ready to swim forward
let the ocean reach above the ankles to my heart.
I'm reaching for the deeper ocean, with you at my side.


let the ocean reach above my ankles to my heart.